The kindness of strangers

On Friday night my wife and I had a great evening out with a few beers and a meal with old friends from my university.

We got the bus home but after we had got off at our stop, I realised that I did not have my phone with me.  I knew immediately what I had done – I had left it on the top deck of the bus.

I was angry at myself for my stupidity. My phone is both a work and personal one and my mind immediately started racing with all the hassles it would cause.

Long-shot

Fortunately, my wife stayed a bit calmer and thought about how we could catch up the bus and recover the phone. Due to the drink, driving was not an option, so she immediately booked an Uber and gave me her phone. Being a Friday night and a packed bus, I thought it was a long-shot that I would find the phone but thought it worth a go.

And when the Uber arrived about 3 minutes later, I explained the situation to the driver who was called Shirdon. I thought he might be sceptical or awkward about the idea of chasing a bus but he could not have been more positive. He turned to me and said:

‘Jon, we are going to get this phone back!’

Mission

And off we went. The bus had gone a surprisingly far distance, but Shirdon was focused and at each traffic light he fist-bumped me to indicate how bought into the mission he was. About 3 miles on, we saw the bus at a stop and he said:

‘Right, I’ll stop in front and block the bus, and you jump out’. 

I jumped out, re-boarded the bus and explained the situation to the driver who waved me in. I ran up to the top deck and 3 boys were sitting in the seats where I had been. I said a bit breathlessly, ‘Have you seen a phone? I left it here.’ They said ‘No’ but started looking around and were keen to help. But it was not looking good.

Relieved

But then a voice called out from further down the bus ‘I’ve got it mate – is this your phone?’ and a man came up and handed it to me. I was so relieved. I thanked him briefly but profusely.

I ran back down and jumped back into Shirdon’s car.  He was almost as happy as me. He said

‘Right, I am going to drive you back home now to your wife. No charge.’

‘What life is about’

I tried to insist on doing a new journey so I could pay him but he said he had turned off his availability to ‘see this job through’. As we drove back, he explained how important it was that people looked out for each other:

‘I have given up watching media because its all about setting people off against others. Christians v Muslims. Blacks v Whites. We are all human, we gotta do things for others. Its what life is about.’

I was so grateful for the kindness and humanity he showed to me. And connected to what he said, its relevant to share that all of those who helped me recover the phone – Shirdon, the bus driver, the boys and the man who kept my phone safe – were all a different ethnicity to me. 

Negativity bias

In life, it is so much easier to highlight negative experiences than positive ones. I know from blogging that a negative article is far more likely to be popular than a positive one. 

Humans have an in-built negativity bias which means we are stimulated more by negative stories and we remember negative experiences better than positive ones. We recall insults better than praise and think about negative things more frequently than positive ones. All this may be understandable but it can stoke fear and deepen suspicion towards others.

Bridges not barriers

We need to tell other stories too which provide a more balanced picture and can build our confidence in the goodness of others. Do the stories we tell build bridges or barriers?

I love my local community and experiences like this make me love it even more.  I was truly blessed by the kindness of strangers. Let’s all be more Shirdon!