When I was manager of an emergency shelter for rough sleepers in central London, I led a team which was constantly in danger of arguing and falling out. Many difficult decisions had to made every day and it was hard to avoid the chaos of our resident’s lives infecting everyone involved.
It was easy for people to blame an earlier shift for something not done, be angry about a decision and, most sensitive to me, criticise the manager. Throw in hugely diverse worldviews, strong opinions, personal fragilities and lived experience of addiction, and you had all the ingredients for a challenging team culture.
I remember another manager doing similar work saying:
‘Most of my work is with people with medium-to-high support needs…and that’s just my staff team.’
Damaging environment
In such environments, the pressure can damage people. Grace can evaporate and burnout is a risk, but also inappropriate relationships, malpractice and corruption can take root. Most of the team loved to drink and this was when I learnt that one aspect of good leadership is knowing when to leave the pub.
But another thing I also learnt, is the importance of creating spaces for honesty. If we were to maintain grace within the working environment, then we needed to be truthful with each other.
Sharing weaknesses
To do this, we organised team days every few months where we would get away from the shelter and evaluate how we were doing using a simple SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats) format. After an opening activity, we would spend about 45 minutes celebrating and recording our Strengths, whether this was successes with residents or how we dealt with something challenging. This was the nice bit.
Then we would go into Weaknesses. The tension would rise in the room and people would gradually open up about things that were not good, where they felt let down or scarred from an incident. Often the language and emotions were raw.
I found it hard to hear people express anger ‘with management’. It was tempting to jump in and immediately defend yourself or others.
Truth emerging
But this session was where we really grew as a team. The exercise of collective self-criticism was vital because it was here that the truth emerged. Issues were dragged out into the light and rather than just slagging others off others behind their backs, people ‘owned’ their views and spoke more adult to adult.
After a break, we would go through each Weakness one by one and agree actions to address them. This often led to an appreciation of the complexity of the issues and taking collective responsibility for solutions.
I reflected on these experiences this week after I read this quote from the ‘Desert Father’, Abba John the Little, in Celtic Daily Prayer:
‘We have abandoned a light burden, namely self-criticism, and taken up a heavy burden, namely self-justification.’
There is great depth of wisdom in these words.
Too often, individuals and organisations resist healthy self-criticism and it leads to something far worse.
Truthful self-awareness
‘Self-criticism’ should not mean beating ourselves up or wallowing in unhealthy guilt but embracing a sober and truthful self-awareness. It is to accept that humans mess up and miss the mark we aim for.
Rather than crush us, this truth can set us free. It can be a light burden which enables us to embrace our humanity, seek grace and forgiveness and live at peace with reality.
And as my experiences above illustrate, this is not just something for individuals. Healthy organisations need self-criticism, where weaknesses can be spoken of without fear and everyone can take responsibility for what needs to improve.
A healthy form of self-criticism can be emotionally exfoliating, but if we are honest, we know it is what we most need. The candy-floss of superficial affirmations may taste sweet but we need a better diet to stay healthy. We need both grace and truth.
The heavier burden
And self-criticism can be a far lighter and healthier burden than the crushing weight of self-justification which easily takes hold of individuals and team cultures.
When self-justification dominates, it leads to defensiveness and a lack of trust. Problems are all externalised to others, energy go into blame games and people covering their own back. Passive aggression replaces straight-forward communication. Self-promotion replaces team achievement. These burdens are far heavier.
Our need of grace
It is strength rather than weakness which helps us be self-critical about our essential frailty and weaknesses. Its a truth which exposes our need of grace. And it makes sense of Jesus’ words in Matthew 11:28-30:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
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This is a very profound article, Jon. Thank you.
When self-justification dominates, it leads to defensiveness and a lack of trust. Problems are all externalised to others, energy go into blame games and people covering their own back. Passive aggression replaces straight-forward communication. Self-promotion replaces team achievement. These burdens are far heavier.
Inspired writing, and praying for grace to take this fully on board.
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Thanks Graham – much appreciated.
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Superb insights – as ever – Jon. I can only echo – in fact expand on – them in respect of the sector I am most familiar with, migration. Charities pushing for a more liberal approach to immigration often have two arms and aims – support services and advocacy. Your thoughts are primarily focused on the difficulties of being self-critical in respect of the delivery of the former. But in respect of the latter – advocacy – the difficulties, and the consequences of not being self-critical, are even greater.
I would argue that over the past two decades UK charities have done a good job in supporting immigrants through their services, but a very poor job overall in advocating for changes to immigration policy. Over that time, while UK public attitudes towards immigrants have improved (there is no evidence this is due to the work of charities by the way), the policies that the charities are trying to influence through their advocacy have generally got worse.
Of course, that is not all charities’ fault. My point though is that in almost any other walk of life, given this outcome, someone would be asking whether it is their fault, or at least whether they have contributed to this outcome in some way. If these charities were a bank or a football team their management would have been removed multiple times over in a bid to change things up and get a better outcome.
I see no evidence of this. Whenever I suggest that this may be a reasonable line of enquiry, people genuinely don’t even understand the point I am making. Instead, most charities’ advocacy approach has remained in effect largely unchanged over that 20-year period. And rather than examining whether this is part of the problem, they congratulate each other on how righteous they are, and how terrible their – winning – opponents are.
That’s a terrible waste of a huge amount of resources. But also a terrible outcome for all those people who could have come to the UK but, as a result of the way that policy has gone, haven’t been allowed or able to. So, keep up the good work, and the self-criticism.
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Thanks Jonathan. Do you think that charities see advocacy as something where they will always be fighting a losing battle?
And rather than examining whether this is part of the problem, they congratulate each other on how righteous they are, and how terrible their – winning – opponents are.
Sometimes I think we can be seen and also perceived, as those working in a different world, perhaps a bubble of idealism which does not quite ‘work’ in the real world. It is easier to win applause (on social media especially) for ideas and concepts that are never going to be realistic or possible but which somehow embody this idealism.
The other day I was at an event – very left-wing and right-on but also very heart-warming and genuine. Someone spoke about the Universal Basic Income which guarantees everyone a certain income – everyone clapped and liked the idea. When I spoke to people afterwards I said ‘One connected policy to that idea would have to be very strong borders and a very restricted immigration policy – you would have to have a very clear qualification for this Basic Income to be given other wise the whole world would be queuing up to come?’
And inevitably they were a lot less positive about that – and probably felt I was someone ‘a bit dodgy’. I felt they wanted their liberal and left-wing cake and to eat it too.
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Just after reading your article yesterday I happened to read a line from RH Tawney’s ‘Religion and the Rise of Capitalism’, which was apparently the most read history book between the two world wars and is 100 years old next year. Anyway, it said: ‘Common sense and a respect for realities are not less graces of the spirit than moral zeal’.
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Great quote. This is what does my head in about the way the left hold up Tony Benn as a hero and hate those who actually got to lead and put policies into action.
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Bernanos in his famous novel, The Diary of a Country Priest,said that it is significant that Jesus did not say,”You are the honey of the world,” but rather, “You are the salt of the earth.”
To look at many Christians who are soft and effeminate and sweetone would think that their ambition is to be the honeypot of the world.They sweeten and sugar the bitterness of lifewith an all too easy conception of a loving God.They soften the harshness of guilt with an appallingly childish romanticism.They have retouched hell out of existence and only heaven is on the horizon.When it comes to the devil and temptationthey stick their heads in the sandand they go about with a constant, set smile on their faces,pretending that they have overcome the world.For them the kingdom of God,that comes with the savage agonies and travail of history,the excesses of the Antichrist, and the groans of martyrs,has become an innocuous garden of flowersand their faith a sweet honey they gather from its blossoms.And this is also the reason why the world turns away, sickened and disgusted,from these Christians.People in the world know that life is harder than that,and therefore they know that it is more decent to bear the bitterness of itwithout sugaring it over.
Helmut Thielicke
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Thanks John for sharing these – very strong quotes and I may use them if thats OK! Is the second paragraph all a quote from Helmut Thielicke? I was not quite sure.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Yes, Jon, it was Helmut Thielicke who started by quoting Bernanos. And yes, please quote on! As a preacher, I am a magpie, snatching treasures from wherever. I imagine they are both out of copyright. 🙂
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Arh! That makes sense. Thanks John!
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Amen, brother!
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Amen Brother Chris!
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