Comfortable in our own skin? – by Stephen Brown

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A man with leprosy came and knelt in front of Jesus, begging to be healed. “If you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean,” he said. Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!” Mark 1: 40-45 (NLT)

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I vividly remember the first time I shook hands with a man who had suffered from leprosy. It was in Nepal and we were in church together. Although I knew this man was not contagious, to my shame there was an involuntary ‘check’ in my head as he reached out his gnarled hard hand in welcome, with stumps where his fingers had once been.

I can understand why people affected by leprosy faced stigma and rejection in Jesus’ day. Sadly, the same is still true today in many communities in places like Nepal.

In many of Jesus’ healing miracles, he doesn’t just address the physical affliction but also the social and relational estrangement that accompanies it. It is more than just a medical cure, he enables the person to rejoin the life of the community.

Struggles with identity

At the 2024 Hope into Action conference, Izzy Harriss spoke about struggling with her identity as she grew up, and a sense of ‘being different’. For her this started a journey of drug use which led to a full-blown heroin addiction.

Whilst we may not have been down the path of addiction, many of us know what it’s like to feel unsettled about who we are, have low self-esteem or self-doubt. We know what it’s like to be uncomfortable with our identity, our appearance, about the way we interact with others. We may lack confidence and constantly compare ourselves to others.

Love and affirmation

My own battles with my mental health have its roots in not feeling comfortable in my own skin. I’ve been reflecting on the healing and restoration that I have experienced through the love and faith of those around me.

In my late 30s I suffered a debilitating depression which resulted in months signed off work. It was a combination of medication, counselling and the love and prayers of my wife and other family and friends that pulled me through. It was a slow process, but I can say that I am far happier in my own skin now than I was before it.

There were plenty of people who didn’t know how to relate to me at that time, or who avoided me altogether. I get that. I was difficult to have around (and perhaps still am sometimes!).

I left a church because I was unable to stay and be authentic. It was a painful time and led to a great deal of soul searching about what I really believed. My journey back to health included a lot of rethinking about my faith and the role that the church community played.

Underneath the wrapping

Often in the communities and groups in which we participate, we are like the different sweets in a tin of Quality Street. We all have our shiny wrappers which present an image to those around us of what we’re like. But the true value of the sweet is not in the shininess of the wrapper but what it’s like on the inside. Our true identity lies in what’s within us, not what we present externally.

But of course, wrappers are not only for presentation, they are also a form of protection. And we need safe places in which to ‘unwrap’ our true selves and share who we are beneath the surface.

Closed loop

Often, addictions, anxiety and mental health problems create a ‘closed loop’ within ourselves. They lead us to hide the truth from others, withdraw, and lose relationships. This often makes things worse. We need a special type of person to keep on loving us.

I often think about the phrase “To be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known”. As well as being known by other people we can be known and loved by God. I really liked how Jon Swales describes the role Jesus played in his journey of re-examining his faith:

“In my journey of deconstruction, I have found life-giving strength in the person and work of Jesus. He, in his beauty and grace, is my compass, guide, and consolation. The church may fail, doctrines once concrete dogma are now challenged and malleable, but Christ is compelling.”

A different contagion

Let’s return to the man with leprosy’s encounter with Jesus and reflect on these words:

‘Moved with compassion, Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!” ’

There was a contagious condition in this encounter, but it was not a disease which disfigures and destroys.

It was love: a love able to bring hope, to heal, to restore identity and to renew healthy relationships with God and with others. A love available to every one of us.

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Stephen Brown works for Hope into Action and lives in Eastbourne