Public leadership, private insecurity

One of the common assumptions people make is that those in positions of leadership or responsibility are confident and secure. 

Actually, feelings of insecurity are rampant among those who lead. What is externally projected and seen is not the same as how people feel inside.

Performative

This is especially relevant in church and charity leadership. The more performative a role is, in terms of public speaking, leading events, needing to inspire and motivate people, the greater the danger that insecurity can grow. It can mean people get stuck in a cycle of anxiety-management and affirmation-addiction.

This neediness is not healthy and can become dangerous.  As we have seen in many leadership scandals, problems stem from leaders looking for their needs to be met in unhealthy and inappropriate ways.

Counter-cultural

Chapter 13 of John’s gospel describes Jesus’s act of washing the feet of his disciples. It is one of the most obvious examples of Jesus’ radically counter-cultural approach to leadership.

When it comes to this story though, there is a danger that we perceive Jesus’ actions in a way which is too passive and ‘nice’. Actually, the passage emphasises that Jesus’ humble service was rooted in him being secure in his identity and assertive in his leadership.

1. Security in identity and value

At the start of chapter 13, John emphasises that Jesus’ feet-washing is based on a deep confidence about his own value, identity and future:

‘Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God.’ (13:3)

Jesus did not need to seek validation from anyone else. He was secure in his status before God, where he had come from and where he was going to.

Our service of others is purest and most effective when we are secure in our intrinsic worth. In contrast, our efforts to help others are warped when they become shaped by our own needs or become an expression of frail ego. Both large charities and small community projects can become vanity projects more focused on the needs of the people running them than those they are serving.

The best leadership advice I ever had was based around the oxygen masks which drop down in airplanes: put your own on first before you help others. We must ensure we draw on the right resources if we want to help others.

At Hope into Action, my annual appraisal as CEO is led by two trustees and based on feedback from many colleagues. It is genuinely helpful and full of wise observations.  Also, I am so glad to work for an organisation which encourages staff to take regular ‘retreat’ days to ensure their faith and focus remain healthy. These are both examples of organisational practice which will help me remain secure in my identity and value.

2. Assertive boundaries

Secondly, Jesus form of service is far from being a passive doormat. His interactions with Peter during the feet washing show someone who is clear and assertive. 

Peter, offended by the idea that his rabbi is going to wash his feet, refuses to allow Jesus to do such a thing. But Jesus tells him bluntly how necessary this is if he wants to be part of what he is doing. 

“Unless I wash you, you have no part with me” (13:8)

This then leads Peter to demand Jesus wash his whole body. Again, Jesus declines and explains why. Jesus maintains his boundaries in the face of someone who wants to be dealt with on their own terms.

Those who lead projects or services which help others are often confronted by demands which may be inappropriate or impossible to meet. If we lack boundaries then it is easy to become overwhelmed by the needs of others and become bitter and resentful.  But allowing ourselves to be used as doormat helps no-one and can actually enable damaging behaviour.

Healthy and assertive boundaries are fundamental to helping people in ways that truly help.  They help sustain what we do and empower others to take their own steps. Over the long term, showing grace will always involve telling the truth.

Following this template

We can all learn from the template Jesus gives:

“Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.” (13:14)

But let’s not just think that Jesus’ actions were just simple servitude. His actions were rooted in being secure in his identity and value and assertive in maintaining his boundaries and focus. This is the example which reflects what John wrote about Jesus at the start of his gospel:

“We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth” (1:14)