Empowering change: carrying the burdens of others so each can carry their own load

I sat in a church listening to a woman tell me about the horrific domestic violence that she had experienced from her former partner.  It had left her so scared that even when she had moved out she slept in the wardrobe of her new room to try to feel safe. 

But she then told me about the difference that moving into a Hope into Action home had made. She spoke about the kindness and patience of her Empowerment Worker and the genuine friendship from the local church.  With this love and support, she had rebuilt her life. She had recently done an Alpha course at the church and was now starting her own catering business.

She said to me:

“My Empowerment Worker didn’t just give me a ladder to climb out of the situation, she showed me how to build my own staircase.”

Empowerment

I used this quote in my talk at the Hope into Action annual conference last week. Around 350 people came to Kingsgate Church in Peterborough and it was an incredibly uplifting and inspiring day.

My favourite part of the day was when our tenants received awards in recognition for progress in a whole range of categories such as Recovery from Addiction, Financial Management and Education and Training. It was beautiful and moving and a great illustration of empowerment.

Helping people in ways which empowers their strengths is a key priority for contemporary social activism. Its a challenge we cannot avoid if we truly want to help people.

Paul’s letter to the Galatians contains great wisdom on these matters:

1. Carrying other people’s burdens…

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ. (Gal 6:2)

The Bible is clear: helping others is right at the heart of the Christian message. Jesus teaches that loving our neighbours is right alongside loving God as the most important commandment. Jesus embodies this in countless examples of how he responds to those who are despised, rejected and judged by others.

Supporting and loving others is so central that Paul describes carrying each other’s burdens as ‘fulfilling the law of Christ’.  It is this ‘law’ which has inspired the church for centuries to show grace to those affected by homelessness. 

2. …but each should carry their own load

Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load. (Gal 6:4-5)

As so often in the Bible, there is a tension illustrated in this passage between grace and truth. There is grace in the command to carry each other’s burdens, but there is truth in the emphasis that each should carry their own load.

What does this tension look like in practice?

I think it means that we should provide help to people when they need it: food, shelter and debt support when they are in crisis. But the underlying aim of our help should be to empower people to look after themselves. Rather than foster dependency on what we offer, our aim should be that they are better equipped to carry their own loads. This is not easy.

The distinction between crisis and chronic problems is important. When we give crisis-type responses to chronic problems we can end up entrenching problems further (for more see Charity Detox).

All social action projects should be considering: how does our help empower people to carry their own loads? How do we help people build their own staircases?

3. Avoiding burnout

‘Let us not become weary in doing good’ (Gal 6:9)

Over the years, I have met a lot of people who have burnt out from their efforts to help people. Combinations of middle-class guilt, radical aspirations and naivety combine to draw kind people into highly difficult and messy situations. If we are not careful then its easy to ‘become weary in doing good’. and we can even become cynical about helping anyone.

Good boundaries are an essential way of avoiding unhelpful naivety and cynicism. They help sustain a grace-filled approach to others.

And, most importantly, boundaries help the people we are aiming to help. They model an appropriate form of mutuality which can build trust, confidence and dignity. This is far more helpful and humanising to those in need than allowing yourself to used as a doormat.

Staying humble

There is a fundamental humility in working to empower others. As this prayer, made famous by its association with Oscar Romero* reminds us, we are not the saviours of others:

We cannot do everything,
and there is a sense of liberation in realising that.
This enables us to do something,
and to do it very well.

It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning,
a step along the way,
an opportunity for the Lord’s grace
to enter and do the rest.

We may never see the end results,
but that is the difference
between the master builder and the worker.
We are workers, not master builders,
ministers, not messiahs.

We are prophets of a future not our own.

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*see the helpful comment from John Faris below