Advent is a season of waiting, a time when the Church pauses, not in passive resignation, but in hopeful expectation. We wait for light to break into darkness, for God’s Word to take flesh, for the world to be remade.
Advent teaches us that waiting is not wasted time; it is a discipline of humility, a posture of openness to what we do not yet know or see.
Naming wounds
Recently, I was reminded just how much this posture matters in leadership and in life. A few weeks ago, I wrote about the power of language: how the words we choose shape not just our self-understanding, but the very culture of care we seek to create. I reflected on the need to name wounds honestly, to dignify pain rather than sanitise it, and to ensure that our words create space for those who might otherwise be excluded.
And then, as we advertised for a new Associate Director I was gently but firmly, reminded that language is never neutral. A partner in this work reached out after reading our job pack. She noted that the phrase “to act in the best interest of St Luke’s at all times” could be read as prioritising the organisation above all else, even above the wellbeing of those we serve.
Organisational protectionism
Her concern was that such wording, however well-intentioned, might inadvertently echo the very organisational protectionism that has caused harm elsewhere in the Church; something highlighted so starkly in the findings of Past Cases Review 2 and the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse.
These reports have shown how prioritising institutional reputation over the needs of individuals can lead to real harm, and why it is so important to be vigilant about the language we use and the culture it creates.
Feedback as a gift
The feedback was a gift. It was a reminder that the language we use, especially in recruitment, must reflect our deepest values. She suggested an alternative: “acting at all times according to the values and ethos of St Luke’s.” This subtle shift places our shared values at the centre, rather than the institution itself.
I’ll admit, my first reaction was a mix of embarrassment (hadn’t I just written about this?) and gratitude. Here was a real-world example of the very dynamic I’d described: the tension between protecting an organisation and serving its people; the risk of language becoming a shield rather than a bridge.
Listening and adapting
So, we changed the job pack. Not defensively, but gratefully. Because if we are serious about being a learning organisation, one that listens, reflects, and adapts, we must be willing to change not only our policies, but also the way we speak and write; recognising that our words, as much as our actions, shape the culture and values of our organisation.
Advent reminds us that God’s coming often surprises us, and that true readiness means being open to change, even when it unsettles us.
Serve not defend
This experience has reinforced for me a simple truth: we are called to serve, not to defend. The important thing is not to have the perfect words, but to work in genuine partnership, creating the kind of relationships where feedback can be offered and received. I am especially thankful for those who, with courtesy and care, have the courage to speak up. It is through such exchanges that we may grow, and that our work remains true to its purpose.
As we wait this Advent, may we do so with humility, ready to listen, willing to learn, and open to the changes that true partnership and honest feedback can bring.
Dr Tim Ling is Chief Executive of St Luke’s for Clergy Wellbeing, a charity helping clergy to flourish through preventive programmes, restorative psychological care and advocacy. This article was originally published here: Advent Reflection: Waiting, Listening, and the Gift of Feedback
Grace + Truth 